there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
