my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize