life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
