I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
