it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
