i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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