Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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