You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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