just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
