the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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