she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
