I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
