did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
