Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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