Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
