I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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