Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
