I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
