You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize