4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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