I am spending my child support on dildos
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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