Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
