No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
