i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
