We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
