You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
