Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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