Tell her she can't have a vagina
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize