Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So squirting runs in the family.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
