he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
