just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
