just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
