Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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