Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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