so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
