I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.