Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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