Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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