1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
