We're facebook friends in real life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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