It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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