Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
