i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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