clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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