We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
