i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
