Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's shark week go big or go home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
