Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
