I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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