So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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