She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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