Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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