I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
