my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
