go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
