So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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