Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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