If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
